Counseling
Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor since 2001
As a therapist, I work with teens, adults, couples and families. I really like people, and I care about how people feel, and want to help them feel better.
Often we get struck in old patterns, repeating behaviors and feeling distress. Understanding our emotions and how we organize around them is important. Frequently, in an attempt to change things and feel better, we do things in the moment, hoping to stop the pain or irritation we are experiencing, yet the old patterns keep arising, as does distress.
The kind of therapy I do is a combination of attachment and relational work, trauma work, and skills based therapy.
Helping people slow down enough, so they can see what is triggering them and then what they do to each other is important, so people can make changes.
Then helping people learn to do the things they were not able to do, such as understand their feelings, speak with honesty and kindness, ask for help, set boundaries, dream and believe in themselves and set goals and accomplish them is part of the therapy.
When working with individuals, couples or families who come for relational work, I employ EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy). We are hard wired for loving relationships; they keep us safe, and give us meaning and comfort.
When something happens that makes people feel unsafe in a relationship, people engage in many kinds of behaviors to get back the feeling of security and safety, and all too often, they stay in an escalated pattern.
Some of the behaviors, people do when unsafe are: blaming others for their feelings, yelling at loved ones, backing away, not talking and shutting down, telling others how to feel or what to do. The feelings causing these behaviors make sense, the behaviors often do not help people get what they want, and people feel worse.
What people want is a sense of closeness, acceptance, and connection.
Helping people see what happens between them and others, and learning to speak about it, helps people change their patterns and develop securely connected and loving bonds. People learn to see their patterns, de-escalate them, and develop new healthy patterns, feeling securely connected.
When helping people who feel scared or traumatized, I employ trauma work called: EMDR. All of us come to the world with an adaptive way of being.
When we experience trauma, whether it is a Big T - an enormous life changing event, often in which someone was hurt or could have been badly hurt, or Little t - smaller, frequently occurring events that make us feel shier, cautious, or timid, such as being yelled at constantly by a parent, ignored, or constantly corrected, we freeze, fly or fight. When trauma occurs, the body and memory remembers. We live in self negating, and denigrating ways. We no longer use our adaptive way of processing information because we are scared. EMDR helps us remember who we are. We re-process memories and come back to are adaptive way of living.
EMDR can be used to process trauma.
EMDR is also used to enhance the good feelings you already have. People feel calmer, connected to themselves and others and can bring these new feelings into the future.
A specific skill I have is in working with teens, college-aged adults, adults, couples and families who are living with ADD, Learning Issues or ASD. I coach university students who have learning and attention issues. We focus on Executive Functioning skills, helping people learn to enhance their attention, focus, prioritize, make decisions, make plans and follow through.
Some of my clients are students, and the focus is on school work and school life. Others are adults and the focus may be such things as developing career goals and finding a job, parenting, enhancing your career, or focusing on your marriage.
If you think my services could be of help to you or someone you care about, please use my contact page to get in touch. I look forward to working with you!
